The period of adolescence is often characterised by major physiological and psychological changes. Sexuality is one of the most important of these changes. However, discussing this sensitive subject with a teenager can be complex for many parents and educators. This article aims to provide practical, scientifically-based advice to help facilitate this conversation.
How do you talk to a teenager about sex?
Talking about sexuality with a teenager is often a challenge for many parents, but it is crucial not to neglect this aspect of development. Talking about sexuality requires a balanced approach that is both informative and empathetic. With this in mind, the first step is to create an environment conducive to dialogue.
Creating a safe environment
The importance of creating a safe, non-judgemental space cannot be underestimated. Teenagers are particularly sensitive to judgement and criticism, which can make them reluctant to share such personal information. It can be beneficial to choose a time and place free of distractions where the conversation can take place in a calm manner. Avoid public places or times when you are in a hurry.
A gradual approach
Subtlety is key when it comes to introducing the subject. A gradual approach can often be more effective than tackling the subject head-on. Perhaps start with related subjects, such as relationships or mutual respect, before slipping naturally into aspects more explicitly linked to sexuality.
Respond with precision
Once the conversation has started, it’s imperative to provide clear, precise and scientifically validated information. Myths and misconceptions about sexuality are rife, and it’s your duty to clear up any misunderstandings. Use simple but precise language and make sure that the information is adapted to your teenager’s age and level of understanding.
Open the door to questions
One of the most crucial aspects of this conversation is to allow your teenager to ask questions without fear of reprimand or judgement. This often involves controlling your own reaction to ensure that you don’t come across as judgmental or critical.
Using external resources
It is also useful to draw on external resources to complement the conversation. This can include books, reliable websites, or even health professionals. Remember to check the credibility of the sources you consult.
Why talk to teenagers about sex?
Discussing sexuality with teenagers is not only a parental obligation, but also a societal necessity. The consequences of ignorance or misinformation can be serious, both for the individual and for the community in which they live.
The importance of prevention
Misinformation or a total lack of information can lead to risky risk behaviour. For example, ignorance about safe sex practices can result in the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or lead to unwanted pregnancies. An open conversation based on reliable data can play a crucial role in preventing such situations.
Avoiding non-consensual relationships
Sex education is not limited to biology or health risks. It also includes concepts such as consent and respect. A well-informed teenager will be better able to understand these nuances, which can help reduce incidents of non-consensual relationships or abuse.
Barriers to communication
Open communication with an adolescent about sexuality can encounter various obstacles, ranging from personal discomfort to socio-cultural constraints.
Feeling of unease
Teenagers, who are in the process of building their identity, are often reluctant to talk about such intimate subjects. This discomfort may be exacerbated by fear of judgement or stigmatisation, and may even be reinforced by parental attitudes.
Influence of cultural or religious beliefs
In some families, religious or cultural beliefs may make sexuality a taboo subject. This is an additional obstacle to open communication and can even lead to a certain amount of guilt or shame in the teenager.
Lack of sex education in schools
The absence or inadequacy of formal sex education in schools is another major obstacle. Adolescents may not be receiving the vital information they need to lead a healthy sex life, placing greater responsibility on parents.
When to start the discussion
Timing is everything when it comes to discussing sexuality with a teenager.
No ‘right’ age, but ‘right’ timing
There is no universally ‘right’ time to broach the subject, but it is advisable to do so before the teenager is confronted with situations requiring choices related to their sexuality.
Natural opportunities
Sometimes, opportunities arise naturally, such as when watching a film on the subject, or as a result of questions asked by the teenager him/herself. These moments can provide a less forced setting for discussion.
Free condoms in pharmacies for under-26s
Since January 2023, a new measure has been in force in France, marking a significant turning point in public health policy on sexual prevention. Condoms are now free for people under the age of 26 in all pharmacies nationwide.
A welcome initiative
This initiative has been widely welcomed by public health experts and organisations dedicated to sex education. Its aim is to lower the financial barriers that could dissuade young people frombuying condoms, an essential element in a sexuality safe sex.
Impact on prevention
Making condoms free of charge is a key step towards improving the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancies. This measure reinforces awareness-raising and educational messages by facilitating access to effective means of protection.
Information and awareness-raising
It is crucial that this measure be accompanied by a targeted information campaign, especially aimed at teenagers. Pharmacists play a key role here. Not only do they supply the product, but they also have the opportunity to educate young people about its correct use and other aspects of sexual health.
All the more reason to open up the dialogue
The introduction of this free service can be an excellent pretext for opening up or deepening the dialogue on sexuality with teenagers. It allows parents to highlight a practical option that offers no cost in terms of protection, while emphasising the importance of individual responsibility when it comes to sexuality.
The importance of sex education in preventing vaginismus in teenagers
Sex education plays a crucial role in the healthy development of adolescents. By tackling complex and often taboo subjects, it contributes to a better understanding of sexuality and the prevention of various disorders, including vaginismus.
Definition and implications of vaginismus
Vaginismus is defined as an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina, which impedes penetration and can cause pain and discomfort. This functional disorder, often psychological in origin, is associated with anxiety and fear of penetration.
Sex education: A vector for prevention
- Demystifying sexuality: By providing open and honest information, sex education helps to dispel myths and misunderstandings about sexuality. In this way, it offers a more accurate and relaxed perspective, reducing the sources of anxiety linked to sexual relations.
- Communication on consent: Teaching the importance of consent and mutual respect is fundamental. This helps young people to understand that sexuality should be a shared, positive experience, free from any form of pressure or coercion.
- Knowledge of the body: Understanding the anatomy and function of the human body enables teenagers to become familiar with their own bodies and to recognise normal reactions during the different phases of sexual arousal, thus minimising the unknown which can be a source of tension.
- Managing anxiety and fear: Sex education offers tools for managing the anxiety and fear associated with sexuality. By openly broaching the subject of first sexual experiences, young people are prepared to experience them more calmly.
- Promoting sexual health: Finally, sex education helps to promote overall sexual health, encouraging young people to take responsibility for their own sexuality and to consult health professionals if they have any difficulties, which can help to prevent the onset of conditions such as vaginismus.
Sex education is not just about preventing STIs and unwanted pregnancies; it is also a pillar in building a fulfilling sexual experience. Talking openly about sexuality gives teenagers the keys to understanding their bodies and their emotions, reducing the risk of conditions such as vaginismus, and enabling them to experience their sexuality in a positive and healthy way.
FAQ
- How do I broach the subject for the first time?
Choose an appropriate time and place where you won’t be disturbed. Start with open questions and listen carefully. - Should I talk about contraception?
Yes, contraception is an important aspect of sexuality and should be discussed. - How do I deal with my teenager’s reaction?
Be prepared to respond to a variety of reactions and make sure you maintain open communication. - What should I do if my teenager doesn’t want to talk?
Respect their choice, but make sure they have access to reliable information.
